“Life is short.  Hire an Escort. “

This parody of the Ashley Madison slogan “ Life is short. Have an Affair” is a heartbreaking reminder for some of AM’s 37 million users recently exposed by the sites hack and subsequent data dump that there are safer and more effective ways to “ have an affair”.  

In a story first broke by http://krebsonsecurity.com/2015/07/online-cheating-site-ashleymadison-hacked/

on July 19th 2015, it was reported that a large cashes of data had been stolen from the well known cheaters site Ashley Madison by an unknown individual or group.  Included in the data breach: employee information, employee salaries, user data of all variety including financial and credit card information, user emails and account information.  Even more mortifying for users is the ability of 3rd party sites to sift though the data dump and connect credit card information to actual addresses, names, users descriptions and chat logs.  Imagine sensitive sexually charges profile descriptions being linked to your name and address and published online.  Here’s an example from one user in Canada who apparently works for customs and for purposes of this article shall remain anonymous “I love it when I’m called and told I have 15 minutes to get to someplace where I’ll be greeted at the door with a surprise—maybe lingerie, nakedness. I like to ravish and be ravished … I like lots of foreplay and stamina, fun, discretion, oral, even willingness to experiment—*smile*’ Whoa mama, hold the boat. 

Shortly after the breach Avid Life Media (ALM),the parent company of Ashley Madison, CEO Noel Biderman issued a statement confirming the hack and reassured users that the company was “working diligently and feverishly” to take down all relevant intellectual property.  Apparently not feverishly enough as a full 30 gigs of data had presumably already been breached at the time of this statement.

To add insult to injury Ashley Madison offered a purge feature known on site as “full delete” that allowed members to delete all their profile information for a $19 dollar fee.  In 2014 alone this delete feature netted ALM 1.7 million. The hack confirmed what some had long suspected, in an even more disturbing twist for AM users, the feature was totally meaningless and did not actually scrub all user information as promised.  The manifesto provided by the group calming responsibility for the hack, known only as The Impact Team”, stated:

“Full Delete netted ALM $1.7mm in revenue in 2014. It’s also a complete lie,” the hacking group wrote. “Users almost always pay with credit card; their purchase details are not removed as promised, and include real name and address, which is of course the most important information the users want removed.”

Further down the spiral.

Considering the shit storm this breach has caused AM’s users most of them never even had an affair.  Divorce, loss of employment, loss of child custody, and general misery has now descended on these unfortunate users for what has proved nothing more than the attempt at having an affair.  This can be stated with a great degree of confidence because within the data dump it was revealed that 85-95% of users were male.  If that wasn’t bad enough most of the female users are suspect at best and at worse are fake profiles generated by AM itself to lure male users into exorbitant monthly fees.

 “A former employee filed a lawsuit against the company claiming damages for wrist injuries caused while creating “1,000 fake female” profiles for the site’s launch in Brazil. (The suit ultimately was dismissed.) Some users also have claimed they were chatting with women who, they say, turned out to be fake.” Source: http://www.wired.com/2015/08/ashley-madison-hack-exposes-wait-lousy-business/


So what can to be learned from this clusterfuck?

I suppose in a nutshell the situation can be best described as such; although no one got laid everyone took it right in the ass.  During our research for this article we posted a classified add seeking anyone directly affected by the Ashley Madison data breach willing to talk with Rideworks about their experience thus far.  We had one gentlemen reply, that for the purposes of this article we will call Ron M.  According to Ron M. his wife back in the Midwest heard of the data breach and “ since that bitch ain’t never trusted Ol’ Ron any further than she could throw me “ immediately did a search on, http://www.trustify.info/check , one of the third party sites now capitalizing on the recent misfortune of AM’s users.  “ And there I was.  I’m a friggn idiot for using my main email!  Now everything has gone to complete shit.  Not that everything was always perfect with the missus and everything, but she had no idea I had a thing about wearing little girl panties.  I could have lived the rest of my days with out her knowing that shit” said Ron M.   Ron is only one of millions affected. Ron M went on to state “ I was better off with the escorts, even the skeezy hookers over on Tropicana were a better deal than all this shit” 

His misfortune begs a question that percolates to the top of this steaming cluster; is there a better method to extra marital encounters?  At Rideworks we are proud to say yes, yes there is.  Escorts provide everything one could want out of an affair without the attachment and more importantly the electronic trail.  At Rideworks your data is none of our business.  Any data provided such as phone numbers, email addresses, or anything else is purged from our servers on a bi-weekly basis as a matter of company policy.  There is no $19 extortion fee and we actually PURGE THE DATA.  More importantly we do not process the most important data you could provide anyone, you credit card data.  This is left to our partnering agencies and is never kept online.  There is an old adage about how one doesn’t pay escorts for their time they are paid to leave when the time is up.  Given the current Ashley Madison debacle, this saying holds truer than ever.  Have confidence in your anonymity with Rideworks escorts, have an amazing time, and rest well that your  “affair“ will never lead back to you. 

Happy escorting in the 21st century - happy escorting with Rideworks.